Tripadvisor post #1: So uhh..Should I be worried about Serial Killers?

I'm driving along route 89 on my way to Page, Arizona. There is topically appropriate desert music playing: Men Without Hats - The Safety Dance. It's not a coincidence, my I-pod is on repeat. As the best part of the song come on,


And we can dress real neat from our hats to our feet
And surprise 'em with the victory cry



I don't even notice the sign that states, "Last gas station for 100 miles". Thirty minutes later, or 11.18 cycles through The Safety Dance, I run out of gas. And right out of a bad horror movie, CACTUAR comes out of nowhere and attacks me! I wonder if I can use my cell phone to call for help. I'll consult tripadvisor!

Incidentally, I did a search for horror movies that takes place in the desert, and a similarly absurd movie exists:

[Carnage: The Legend of Quiltface]
On their way out to the desert to take pictures of whatever, the van driver tells them that lots of people have been disappearing out here and rumor has it that Quiltface is behind it. Now the legend of Quiltface is as follows, Quiltface was born in the desert at midnight, then fed on his “mama” and takes the skin of his victims and sews it together to wear.

I feel my talents as an analyst are being under-utilized, and should also be writing desert-local scripts.

As always someone responded rather fast, and they said cell phone reception is spotty at best along the highway. Luckily the roads are rather frequently traveled by tourists doing the same loop as me, so I'd hopefully only need to do battle with CACTUAR for a short period of time before someone can come to my rescue. I'm bothered that my cell phone worked fine on an overnight train in the middle of Egypt, yet in Arizona it does not.